My girlfriend had a bad first sexual experience and is hurt during penitration she has been to doctors and she as checked out ok, I havent tried to force intercorse on her in the least bit because I don’t want to hurt her. Can someone give me serious advice. I would really rather a females perspective but any help will be appreciated.
You don’t state what her bad experience was, but my guess would be that she was an unwilling participant the first time she had intercourse (i.e. she was raped or molested). I state that simply because I know an awful lot of women who were raped when they were young.
My friends who were raped have told me that later on, consensual sex was very difficult for them, and in most cases, very painful. One of them told me that it took two years of visiting doctors before she finally found out the reason–she was extremely tense. That causes the vaginal muscles to tense, as well, and it can cause tremendous pain on penetration.
My advice to you is to simply continue being understanding, and not forcing the issue. There are a lot of things you can do which don’t involve penetration. When she is comfortable enough to relax fully with you, maybe the pain will go away, as well. Until then, please just love her, and be patient with her. A bad experience takes a long time to work through, and a bad sexual experience is no different.
When she is ready, please be sure to practice safe sex, so that she doesn’t have to worry about other issues, and be sure to use a lot of lubricant, as that will help ease things along.
In the meantime, just continue to be good to her. Someone has treated her badly, and no woman deserves that.
Perhaps she wasn’t properly ‘in the mood’ so wasn’t lubricated enough? Try kyjelly or something similar – take your time – get in the mood and relax. Things should be fine if you both take your time and only start when you are both ready.
Take your time foreplay is the key answer and lots of love and affection, also you don’t need to have full intercourse you can make each other satisfied without this, really this should be part of making love, not just wham bam, hope this helps.
she needs to be fully relaxed first else her muscles will tense up inside and then it will hurt. give her some light foreplay turn her on and make her lubricated enough, then try when you feel she is ready. good luck
Well if I were you I would first talk with her and tell her that you would like to try.Re assure her if it hurts you’ll stop and I mean stop completely or you’ll ruin her trust in you.Tell her you’ll start out with fingers then work on in there.She’s gonna be scared and all tensed up do other things to let her relax she’s gonna know it comin but less tension is a good thing and lube man lube.Go slow
Sometime penetration can hurt if she feeling tense and nervous, which if she has had a bad experience in the past i imagine she would be. You need to make her feel relaxed and secure and get her in the mood plan a nice night in give her a nice massage and if it happens it happens if it dosen’t it will in time, patience is the key.
I agree with the other answer, you should try lubricates next time. Also focus on foreplay before you have actual intercourse to get her worked up. If you’re comfortable with it, try just penetrating her with your finger to see if she feels comfortable with it inside her since it’s smaller. Plus you could put lube around her down there while you’re at it.
this could either be because she`s not comfortable with you as yet that why she tightens the passage involuntary ..or it could be that you weren`t gentle enough.. or it could simply be the structure of her pelvis..
Perhaps her last experience did not tuen her n so was was not lubercated enough for it. Sit down and ask her what she likes, has she any fantaisies that she would like to re in act. Take it slowly and do lots of fore play it gets the mind relaxed and the lubraction going if you get what i mean. GOOD LUCK
You should do plenty of foreplay! My first few times were quite sore because I am quite tight! I was lucky to have been with the fella for a couple of years before we did it! So he was really gentle and considerate! Just take your time! It may be frustrating but its well worth it!